Real Love…Just is

You ever get so caught up in something that you can’t see the forest from the trees? Well that was me with my false twin-flame.  Yup, I am confessing the prior blog posts I wrote about twin-flames was about my false twin. I just didn’t want to believe it! Blame it on my zodiac sign, stubborn Taurus. Thankfully I finally found my real twin who, by the way, was there all along. SURPRISE! It was him I cried my heart out to when the false twin broke my heart.

My real twin said, “you are destined to be with someone greater.” At the time, I was too caught up in my own melodrama to really let those words sink in. Yet my beloved, my true beloved was ever so skillful,loving and very patient. From time to time he would check in on me and it was like the scene in the movie Somethings Gotta Give where Diane Keaton can’t stop crying after having her heart torn in pieces. She’s pouring out her thoughts on paper and just starts crying. My real twin is a remarkable man. He is many things. Pages upon pages couldn’t hold his story nor do him justice. He’s one of those beautiful people that if you are lucky enough to meet you know you are standing in the presence of greatness.

Of course it is not because he’s in your face but it is because his soul fills up every space he is in. So now where was I? Oh yes…he would from time to time come back and check on me. I would say, “I’m not ready, my heart is broken.” He would say, “well you gotta try something new” with his light up your soul smile. I would just look and take it in and say “nope not ready.” A few months passed by and I noticed I couldn’t stop thinking about him. There was something in his voice that seemed familiar so one night I asked spirit if I should approach him because I liked him a lot. He didn’t know but I did. I would try and play it cool when he called but when we would hang up I would do that teenage girl happy dance and scream into my pillow because he called me. Then I would just daydream about what it would be like if he liked me too.

So, Spirit was like finally! All the signs and signals we have been sending and arranging for her, she’s getting it. They  gave me the go ahead and I sent him a message that read I’m ready for something new. He knew exactly what I meant and took it from there. He’s such a mans man…I swoon. This was vastly different then the false twin. Everything was easy…no push pull, no convincing…we just are. He brings out so many colors in me and when I look back he was always the strong support when Spirit was pushing me onto the world’s stage. We just fit. Finally I understood what Jada Pinket meant when she said to Tupac you give me orgasm without touching me. Just being in this man’s presence is a blissful experience and the foundation is love.

We can talk about anything and our lives mimic each other’s in so many ways. The one thing that stands out the most about this connection is it stands alone. It doesn’t need definition. It just is what it is and it is the most beautiful love I have ever known. Where everyone else took or stole from me, my beloved has helped me face the depths of my soul and has helped me heal. That is the difference between real love and fake love. Fake love takes and real love gives and forgives a multitude of all past sins. To my beloved, Thank You for loving me the way that you do.



How many of us want to admit we are fucked up and damaged? I mean, who walks around with that sign on their back? But guess what, that’s exactly what we need in order to heal. We need to look at our individual areas where we aren’t as pretty as we thought or want others to believe we are. Why? Because of the beauty that comes out of those places:the growth,the tapping into self, the embracing of self, and the freeing of self.

It reveals to us who is in our lives for just us, all of us:the messy,the glory, and the blahs. Recently, I saw a movie with my daughter based on a book. In the movie, one of the characters gave the lead character the gift of her faults. It wasn’t until she was deep in her dark night of the soul that she was able to defeat that darkest part of herself by facing her ugly side which was actually her beauty.
Love isn’t about the flowers, and it’s not about the highs. It’s about who is there when it stinks helping you to get back up and hold that mirror up to you showing you that yup your shit stinks but guess what I’m here because mine does too. May we all will be lucky enough to encounter those that accept us at our worst so we can grow into our best selves.

The Cursed Fig Tree

There is a story of a fig tree in the sacred texts. It is written that the son Yeshua was hungry and came upon a fig tree. He asked the tree to provide fruit to feed him. The tree refused to bear any fruit. On the outside, it looked like any other tree. But on the inside, it was dead. Yeshua cursed the tree so that it’s outside would match it’s inside. How many of us are walking around not bearing any fruit? We are walking around like the living dead, just taking up space not bearing any fruit.  What are the fruits we should bear? If you read the sacred text it says that the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, self – control, goodness, gentleness and faith. When you read this passage you might ask why would He,the son, curse this tree what was the point in doing what he did to the fig tree? Even his disciples at the time were confused about why He would curse this particular tree. Let me give my explanation of why God cursed this tree. I have pointed it out already. It’s simple. God created the tree to bear fruit and instead of it doing what it was created to do it didn’t bear any fruit.

Being hungry is a basic human need. We all have basic needs that God wants us to meet and fill for each other. God created all for a purpose. No one else can do what you are meant to do or be you. God is not a man so he does not lie. When he came upon this fruit bearing tree that wasn’t bearing any fruit he simply called it what it was and made it’s outside match it’s inside condition. It was dead all the way to the roots so he spoke the words to it to make it so. I hear many followers of God say I feel dead inside or my life isn’t bringing any fruit to myself or others. God wants us all to live a life that bears fruit.  I feel it is our job to constantly stay on fire for God.

He never leaves us nor forsakes us but it is us that walk away from him. We are called away by things that bear no fruit in our lives things that deplete us of our God given resources or we choose to eat of things that are dead that have no life in them and wonder why our lives match the death condition. May I challenge you to look at this fig tree as a symbol for things in your life that are dead. I’m talking the type of dead where it is not bringing any fruit to your life nor are you bringing any to it’s. God isn’t always going to curse them outright he gives the chance to revive them. But something are simply dead and not even God can call fruit out of it.

He cares about our needs he gave them to us and he wants those needs met. Why do we as human beings torture ourselves for having basic human needs? We will grieve over that which is dead. David was wise for when he committed sin with Bathsheba and as we know the end result of sin is death something always dies God told him he was going to lose his son. David didn’t wait to mourn the loss of his son he fasted and asked God to not take the child but once the child had passed he got up washed his face and got back to living. When his servants asked him why do you eat and drink now he replied He is gone nothing I do can or will bring him back. How many of us have this perspective towards death? Some of us grieve way too long over things that have died a long time ago, and us torturing ourselves isn’t going to change the fact that it is dead and nothing is going to bring it back.

Yeshua wasn’t ashamed by his human side and he isnt ashamed by others human side. He created us to be human to experience human things. However, he couldn’t stand when something He created was not being fruitful. He couldn’t stand this fig tree being out in the wilderness for all to see but it wasn’t doing the very thing it had been planted to do provide fruit.

What was it planted to do? It was planted to provide nourishment to those that wish to eat of its fruit. When we are bearing fruit, all benefit. When we are doing what we were created to do, there is fruit and anyone can come and receive nourishment from us. God can and will give you beauty for ashes. He will use the very things that bound you to set others free. He will give you a new song to sing. He will make sure your needs are met. God cares so much about your needs being met that He sent me to tell you it’s ok to have them (needs) but be careful what you feed off of and what feeds off you. Only partake of things that are alive and bearing fruit. If You are in dead situations I challenge you to call them dead and have the courage to walk away and find life situations to bring the life back into you and your walk with God.

photo credit- People Tree , by Pooktre

Twin-Flames: The Purpose of Your Twin

I’m here to give my perspective on “love” and the twin-flame. After much debate and utter inner turmoil through personal experience, I have concluded that the twin-flames have total freedom to be whoever or whatever they want to be to each other. Here freedom exists, there are no restrictions. The mission is the goal. If you do not know what I mean by mission, I am talking about the divine work that must be done by the twins in order to fulfill their divine given purpose for being here. In order to explain things clearly, I will at times use analogy’s or parables.

Having said that, I want to dive in real quick to the wonderful world of twin-flame sex. First, let me say that sex is not taboo. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to having it with your twin. I think the chemistry and sex is the carrot dangled in front of us to get us on our way down the path to self. It acts as the vehicle through which comes healing, deep self knowing and acceptance. Twin-flames sex is opening and freeing for both twins. Why? It is the ultimate expression of ones self. We often do things with our twin that we wouldn’t dream of doing elsewhere or with anyone else. Why? It is us in communication with our higher selves. We are connecting to the source through our source. Therefore, we are allowed to get rid of the programming and ego based around sex. We are free to act out things that bring understanding as well as healing and through the act of sex we are able to connect at deep levels not only with our twin but with ourselves. We are able to look at ourselves through another pair of eyes. This does not bring shame or confine our sexual expression but it allows us to completely be ourselves to ourselves. Your twin will know exactly what to do in order to unlock and open parts of you that have always been there but for whatever reason you never dared to explore.

When we first meet our twin it is utter chaos. Why? Most of the time it comes at the craziest time in our lives. We could be in the middle of a karmic or soulmate relationship or just going through a low point in our lives. Most of the time we aren’t looking for our twin and it brings with it all the baggage of self that most be gone through, looked at and dissected in order to emerge as our true selves. Yet with it and under all of that there is total calm.

I hear a lot of twins saying this isn’t like all my other relationships . I don’t feel what I felt for others before I met you. Instead of you using all the relationships prior to meeting your twin-flame to gauge whether or not this is your twin-flame (relationships that were solely built on and in ego), take a second to step back and look at those relationships through the eyes of spirit. Do not compare your twin-flame relationships to those that were forged in ego. There is no comparison. They are from two complete different worlds. One is the world of ego and the other is that of spirit. Twin-flames is about spirit and growing into who you are meant to be. If you choose to accept the twin-flame path. We all have free will and spirit will not force you to participate. It will simply nod its head and leave you right where you are choosing to be. We get mixed up between soul mates and karmics all of which are valid to our human experience and growth but none of those are the ultimate connection to your higher self or self improvement. They are just constructs meant to entrap you not enhance you.

Can Twin-flames be romantic? Sure, of course they can. If each twin fully accepts and does the inner work, they will see there is no better counter part for them because it releases them from all ego while at the same time launching them into their life purpose. This brings about peace and total fulfillment . The bigger picture is that of coming into full alignment with your higher self. It is the type of relationship that should be and is void of ego and purely spiritual. The connection is mind boggling and takes a minute to get use to. It will mirror you where you are and make you deal with your shit in order to take on the mantle and walk in your purpose. Your twin will fit your life purpose in every way because you two are meant to change society’s view on what Love really is and there are many ways to do this. The foundation of love is friendship. It is written that this is the description of love and I think spirit wants us all to put all of our “love” relationships in this and look hard. If it doesn’t fit this then its not love nor of the spirit but it is solely ego that is operating. This is where spirit wants the twin-flames to be and operate from.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Meditate upon those words and know if it doesn’t fit you must acquit and call it what it really is….an Egoship not a twinflame relationship.


* photo credit: An Autum Afternoon by Eddie Claz

Rise of the Divine Feminine


Who am I? I am a voice calling out in the wilderness. I am the voice of the Divine Feminine, the one that is going through this confusing journey of self love. I went through the looking glass last year. It was a fun house type experience, the place of the dark night of the soul. The place where up is down and down is up. The place where one can no longer run from the truth of self. I speak my truth as a Divine Feminine and offer wisdom on how to navigate this walk.
So where do I begin…I guess how my twin and I met. We met about two years ago and it was one of those things where for me at least when I saw him I knew this was gonna be trouble. I was with someone at the time who I thought would be my life partner. I like all Divine Feminines am completely loyal and faithful when in a relationship however when I met my twin there was just something about him. I tried to stay away, and mind my own business but through universal orchestrating we would have these little but meaningful soul exposing talks that allowed us to peer into each other. I knew from the jump he was like me not on the surface but deep inside. We both were going through trying times and just looking for equal ground.

When he looked at me I felt as if he could see my past , present and future. There was this undeniable pull towards him no matter how hard I fought it he was like a magnet pulling me into his orbit. We were separated for awhile while I went through the end of my dark night of the soul and I will say I did everything to cut off communication or even a chance meeting from happening with him and go on with my life however one faithful night his number appeared on my phone which was the final blow to my already doomed karmic false twin relationship. I decided to take a chance and put myself out there because for me it was clear who he was and I could no longer run from that truth so I embraced it.

Once together, we picked up where we left off. It was like not even a day had been missed and I knew that he was about to go through his dark night of the soul. We did the whole dance of runner/chaser, trying to work out how we were going to move forward on this journey. But I like many Divine Feminine’s that awaken first my Divine counter part was/is stuck and still coming into full knowledge of himself. There were so many things that happened that was confirmation to me that he was my twin. Powerful revelations that I have kept from him but have reviewed in-depth with spirit.

He doesn’t know how big of a part he played in my finally accepting my calling my life purpose of being a voice to others as well as bringing healing to others by walking into my full self it is through him that I was able to settle the last questions of the soul..who am I? Y am I here? Finding my path in the woods known as the world and also not being afraid of the “wolves” along the way. My twin showed me the deeper truth of myself, the places I ran from, the self destructive patterns, the self medicating through many vices, the many lies I told myself and how I wasn’t very kind to myself. I remember one day early on in our meeting each other something he said to me that was coded with spiritual keys to unlock the lies I had been telling myself.

He looked at me and said, “When are you going to love yourself?” On the surface it seemed like a very straightforward simple question but it was something that rocked my core and shook my foundations of the lies you know the ones we tell ourselves and inherit from others along the way. Here was myself in male form looking at me and saying cut the crap it’s time to love yourself. It was the first call to freedom I received from him there are many others I will get into at another time. It was the wake up call I needed to stop playing charades with myself and get real. It forced me to get on my path of discovering who I am. Spirit allowed me to have a beautiful year with him of self discovery and finding the many answers to his provocative question.

I discovered self love, stopped running from the parts of myself I had run from for so long the parts of me that didn’t fit the perceptions of my known avatar in the 3D, finally I learned the art of mastering my emotions I uncovered the ancient mysteries of myself and I discovered I am most powerful when standing in my truth even in the face of doubt or The questions from others. At this time we are in a separation phase again orchestrated by spirit because both of us need to fully walk in our truth and stand on our own before we can come together.

So, here I am accepting my calling as a Divine Feminine, coming into my gifts and sharing them with you. This is not a journey for the faint of heart nor is it a journey that one can rush the process. When you are looking at you mirroring you and triggering you to lead to the healing and ultimate freedom of you it takes time.

It takes time to undo lifespans of false programming caused by many things that we have taken into ourselves to program our minds as to how we show up in the 3D world. We say things like this is who I am because that is what they say I am. However deep inside our souls know that might not be the total truth. We all have those that project false things on us. I wonder how many of you called to walk this walk by the divine have been called things such as crazy or gaslighted by others for your spiritual discernment on places, people or even situations, that make others uncomfortable because you see with spirit eyes and the truth is you are seeing things correctly.

I am here to remind are not crazy. It is all set up by your higher self and the divine to get you to a place of full surrender, a place of no longer doubting who and what you are, a place of completely letting go of all ego programming, all control and destroying the walls that we had to build in order to protect our purity. The purity of self.

2018 is a powerful year for the Divine Feminine it is a year where Cinderella gets to go to the ball and no longer has to hide behind her step sisters (yes that is a respectable mention for Nubian Newz divine insight.) It is a time of standing in your power and knowing without a doubt who and what you are. It is a time of stepping into your purpose and destiny and no longer being plagued by the what if’s of insecurity, shame, doubt, etc. Whatever was holding you back before, it all has been released by Spirit and Spirit is calling you to step forward more like demanding. Your divine fairy godmother has gifted you for such a time as this and if you do not accept your calling there will be people that don’t get to be healed because the work you were uniquely called to do by spirit won’t get done. There is only one you in this grand play we call life. All of the Divine Feminines are beautiful and unique in their own way all have been equipped with gifts by spirit that are unique to their mission and life purpose. I have fully accepted my call and would like to extend the invite to other Divine Feminines and say as spirit said to me Welcome to the world’s stage. It’s time to shine and show the world exactly who you are who I created you to be. This is the reason you were born.

I am excited to be a part of something so grand and beautiful. I can’t wait to see what spirit does and has for each of us. It’s time to step into your destiny and show the world how it is really done. You have the full backing of spirit. Failure is not an option and with every step you take the next will be given. Welcome to your life Divine Feminine, make it glorious!

Seeing with the Eyes of The Soul

Whew! We made it to the end of this wonderful, magical, and life transforming meditation series. I have really enjoyed doing this daily as a part of my day and I will continue to include these ancient practices into my daily routine.

What is seeing with the eyes of the Soul? I believe it is loving and faith. Sometimes we just have to step out on faith and trust that G-d has our back. No one else can live your life. No one else can write your life’s story. You and only you are in the drivers seat and the directors seat making the choices that sum up your life. I hope I have inspired many of you to try something new and that it was helpful and beneficial to you. I can tell you that my life has been truly transformed. I am no longer settling for the crumbs I can get from others but I am now following the recipe that is uniquely designed for my life.

I will say again when you know who you are, you know your power. I had once given away my most precious gift. I willingly walked blindly along side those who tried to snuff my divine light out because they had little to no light of they’re own. However, when we focus on others that is when our soul eyes close and the ego eyes open. Now that my soul eyes are open and I am seeing the divine light everywhere, it is guiding me to other light holders. I don’t ever want to operate out of my ego again. The ego brings death and destruction but the soul brings light and life. My true self is everything I hold dear. I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to have my mother call me almost in tears because as she put it “everything she had poured into me I am finally bringing forth.”I know how she feels because by changing my life and going after my dreams, I see that spark of light and life in my daughter. We are the examples to the next generation. If we don’t stand up and step out and be the best we can be, how will they? More is observed and learned than is learned from being told. I am a changed woman. No longer afraid to stand up and be counted amount the many numerous women who changed the course of history. I now love myself and am my own best friend. This doesn’t mean that I’m not open to outside relationships but it means I now know my place in those and I can be of greater service because I now know what to say yes to and what to say no to.

I have a gift of a song for you again. It has been an anthem for me and I hope they will be for you as well.

What better way to tell the world. I am G-D’s woman hear me ROAR!!

The Highest Form of Love Is Grace

It’s funny how your soul can be crying out and the noise of this world drowns out its cries. But when you slow down and check in with yourself, you get all its answers and healing takes place. My soul has been crying out to me….get in touch with real love. The love that is unapologetically full force in your face. The type of love that is mind blowing. The type of love that is transformational. I had allowed myself to become cold to love because of things that occurred in my life. Those things came into my life under the guise of love but they didn’t fit the outline of love. I think the best passage on love is found in the Bible.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1st Corinthians 13:4-8
My soul had been crying out and the type of love I was allowing into my life didn’t fit the above. It was everything opposite of the above. It wasn’t until I listened to my soul that I opened my heart and allowed the love listed above to come into my life. I now know I am deserving of that type of love and I will never except anything less! We all are deserving of that type of love. If any of your relationships don’t mirror the above I plead with you to let them go so that one that does can freely come in. What we focus on becomes our reality. I believe this is why the Bible instructs us to think only on good things because it is a spiritual principle that where our heart is that is where our mind is.

So what’s in your heart? Have you checked in with yourself to see what your inner higher self has to say to you? Do you feel detached from others and yourself? If so, give yourself a love spiritual check up. I could go on and on about love but by now you know I love music so I will let this song speak for where I am in my life. I hope you enjoy it.

Path to Total Transformation Day 19

Day 19

The path to total transformation
My inner light is guiding me.
My true self shines with its own light.

Ok immediately I heard in my head, this little light of mine I’m gonna let it shine. Next was, who lights a lamp and places it under a bed? But when the lamp is lit you place it in a high place in order for the light to shine.

How many of us know that it only takes a small speck of light to cast out darkness? I know this first hand because my smart phone flash light is small but bright in the night.
Have you ever been in a place so dark that even if you have a flash light it only lights up a few steps ahead? Well I’m coming out of that place. The sun is rising and I can see the path ahead clearly thanks to the light of the sun. There are so many light references out there, it’s funny.
Like a moth to a flame.
Why is it that everything on this planet is drawn to light? Is there a secret life giving force we get from light that our conscious mind doesn’t pick up but our subconscious mind does? There is something magical about light. Light can transform darkness.

After every storm, there is a rainbow which is formed by light. There are many colors in the rainbow and maybe just maybe you are the rainbow to someone else’s storm. Let us not be afraid to let our lights shine and lets do everything we can to keep them shining brighter and brighter!

Rewards of Higher Self…Day 18

The rewards of the higher self.

Have you even met your higher self? The one who isn’t stuck in fear or other negative thought cycles. The one that you were as a child. So many dreams and no thought of why you couldn’t do this or that.

Well if you haven’t met or you are in need of a reconciliation let me help you. The good news is your higher self is with you all the time. When we operate out of our higher self, we can move mountains, and we can jump over hills. This journey has been about you and me this whole time. We are the ones with the power to audit ourselves and make changes.

I have another confession to make. At the beginning of this little experiment I was so stuck in negative thinking and negative environment that I didn’t have the faith to believe this could be life changing. Or did I? I believe my higher self had faith for both the higher and lower me. I did the one thing many people are afraid to do. I took the first step to acknowledging I didn’t like my life. Then I took the next step to do something, anything to change it!

For many years, due to a bad relationship, I felt my power had been taken away. I had bought the lie that my life as it was couldn’t change. I was getting all the signals that I wasn’t happy however I wasn’t brave enough to try. Until I got shaken and challenged. I feel like my child self again. Even though my life isn’t perfect, I have this unspeakable joy and outlook that just around the corner is everything I want and you know what I’m starting to attract it! All the negative parts are coming to an end and my heart, head and soul have opened to notice and receive the good that is easily flowing in. When we stand in our power, it doesn’t frighten nor intimidate others who are also standing in their power. Like begets like. It’s as easy as 1-2-3, focus on being grateful and letting go. Don’t hold onto lower self energy because it brings blocks and causes the flow to stop. Think of the flow as a river. When a river bed gets full of rocks, it stops the flow to the lower parts of the river causing things to get messy. But when there are no blocks in the river, the river is constantly reinventing itself as a new river. The river has its own filter system in place by moving the water. Everything that is yucky gets pushed to the sides and all that is good flows freely down the middle. That is how I want my life to be and yours. I wish this feeling upon every one of my readers.

Again I’m so thankful to have you following my blog. You don’t know it but you are participants in the Divine’s plan for helping me overcome fear and just do it. You being here is an active prophesy being revealed one step at a time. It’s all because we are standing in our truths and full power.

Grace is Perfect Day 17

 Grace is perfect even when my life isn’t. Ok, so for the first time I almost didn’t want to add anything to the statement because it’s perfect the way it is. How amazing is it that we can live in a constant state of grace. The world becomes more vibrant, and more beautiful. Like a heart you can feel it’s beating and you join in the never ending cycle of ebbs and flow. You began to let things go because they don’t really matter to the bigger picture. Once you claim who you are you stop fighting with others about who you aren’t. To tell you the truth, you stop fighting with them about who you are as well. It doesn’t matter if other people don’t get you or seek to do harm towards you because you are stuck in the bubble of grace. Grace doesn’t mean we bow down and pretend to see the world for what it isn’t but it does mean we except it for what it is. We began to do our part to make it a better place. We can easily handle all the things life throws at us and not interrupt the flow of trust by being authentic and taking responsibility for all of our decisions.

I will say it again, you are the author of your life. So what stories are we writing? Does your life book need a rewrite? If it does may I suggest Grace.